Monday, November 06, 2006

Thought for Today

Here is something I think, but do not answer, when people ask me about being pregnant: Pregnancy feels like grief.

I know, you're thinking... Shut up you depressive, and be happy about this, willya? And that's why I don't mention it normally. But really, this is the closest thing I can tell you of what this feels like emotionally. It's a similar thing to grief or loss -- it's big, it's out of my control, there is a wide spectrum of emotions I may roller coaster through on any given day from deep sadness to anger to total elation, and all I can do is wait. All there is to do is act like my regular life is going along normally while at the same time I am waiting and sitting through this storm of stuff that will only change with TIME.

Sometimes I say it feels like I'm on a very long bus trip. But I rarely say the grief part. But do you see what I mean? I am carrying birth like I have carried death. Only this time it feels like there is a basketball in my stomach rather than my throat. . . .

My mother-in-law gave me some excellent advice: Think of it like you're multitasking, she said. That's much more positive.

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